The Weekly Film Rundown: National Cinema Day Edition

Whispers of moviegoing’s demise have made a resurgence with Regal Cinemas’ impending bankruptcy and nary a blockbuster on the horizon until DC Comics’ Dwayne Johnson vehicle Black Adam in late October. The silver lining is the film exhibition industry’s PR machine has declared Saturday, September 3rd as National Cinema Day –a  push to lure inflation-plagued Americans back to regular moviegoing and away from the barrage of overpriced streaming platforms. All day long, any movie in any format including IMAX and Dolby costs three dollars at every movie theatre in the Greater Metro Area except The Belcourt (why make a gesture to the unwashed when you’ve got reprobates who think kindergarten girls are kinky moonlighting as guest programmers and all that free Amazon cash ?)

With such an anemic slate of new releases this weekend, Saturday is a perfect time to catch up on essential summer blockbusters still going strong like Top Gun: Maverick, Nope, Where the Crawdads Sing, and Elvis at a discount or take a chance on the indie films 3,000 Years of Longing, Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris, and Bodies Bodies Bodies that all deserve a wider audience.

Maybe Worth Three Bucks

Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul A megachurch satire that premiered at Sundance has all the signs of coastal dogma, but Jordan Peele’s involvement as a producer with an assist from lead actors Regina Hall (Girls Trip) and Sterling K. Brown (This Is Us) could bring enough depth to get it across the finish line.

Now playing in theatres.

No, It’s Not a Fake Trailer

Gigi & Nate A quadrapolegic learns to live again thanks to the capuchin monkey who becomes his best buddy in this true story boasting a Rotten Tomatoes score of zero and a promising future as a meme.

Now playing in theatres.

Final Summer Fling

Jaws (rerelease) Should be required viewing for windbags who felt clever comparing ending COVID lockdowns to the plot of Spielberg’s classic without realizing it’s really a limited-government allegory.

Now playing in 3-D at all AMC and Regal locations. In IMAX and other large-formats at AMC Thoroughbred 20, Regal Opry Mills, Regal Hollywood 27, and Regal Streets of Indian Lake. $3 admission on Saturday.

Worthwhile Naked Cash Grab

Spider-Man: No Way Home - The More Fun Stuff Version Last chance to see peak Marvel (complete with new scenes) before rando-wokeness and oversaturation prove more audience eroding than a Thanos snap.

Now playing in theatres.

Most Obvious Naked Cash Grab

Star Wars Episodes 1-9 at the Belcourt When important abortion dramas and Afro-fusion musicals don’t quite put asses in the seats like they used to.